5:26pm February 5th 2019
I know that i get on my dads nerves when i just keep ranting about shit.
but like.... i just wanna get stuff off my chest and sometimes complaining to Frost over discord isnt enough cause i need to say things. out loud.
Dad pissed me off this morning.
Yelling at me and acting like an asshole.
Then acting like he wasn't just acting like a total dick.
You would think by now he would learn that i dont wake up easy.
But he is the least understanding person on the planet.
He dosent wanna be understanding and think about the different things that are making waking up at 8am hard for me. things like i never wake up this fucking early, im out of melatonin so im having a hard time falling asleep. anxiety and depression can make things like falling asleep/waking up difficult too.
Peggy wont be at the garden till Thurs. Her brother died so its understandable and okay. But of course im way to fucking selfish to actually think that way so in the back of my mind i keep thinking about how i dont wanna be there with Dan there and no Peggy. I dont wanna be there with Dan and the Elders. I dont care much for the Elders. I miss some of the other elders who would talk to me that weren't weird.
I dont wanna go to class tonight. There is no motivation to sit and pay attention for 3 hours. I still need to do my textbook work for the class and i need to write the first part of my paper. But wheres the motivation?? I did some of my ASL homework earlier. I dont get to feel proud of myself for doing 2 tasks that i had all week to do and waited to do 4 hours before i had to go to class. I also dont get to feel proud cause i have TWO classes to worry about. I have no excuse to not be getting my shit done on time. Hell i should be getting it done EARLY. its two classes.
I wanna take a nap for the next 20 minuets till i have to head to class but i cant. My eyes feel so heavy. I dont think ill eat dinner tonight. Dont deserve dinner until i do my essay.
Im really just a huge dumb ass piece of shit. Fucking hell.
I do nothing but complain about shit and get on people nerves.
Im to incompetent to wake up on time and to handle two fucking classes.
Its fucking sad.
but like.... i just wanna get stuff off my chest and sometimes complaining to Frost over discord isnt enough cause i need to say things. out loud.
Dad pissed me off this morning.
Yelling at me and acting like an asshole.
Then acting like he wasn't just acting like a total dick.
You would think by now he would learn that i dont wake up easy.
But he is the least understanding person on the planet.
He dosent wanna be understanding and think about the different things that are making waking up at 8am hard for me. things like i never wake up this fucking early, im out of melatonin so im having a hard time falling asleep. anxiety and depression can make things like falling asleep/waking up difficult too.
Peggy wont be at the garden till Thurs. Her brother died so its understandable and okay. But of course im way to fucking selfish to actually think that way so in the back of my mind i keep thinking about how i dont wanna be there with Dan there and no Peggy. I dont wanna be there with Dan and the Elders. I dont care much for the Elders. I miss some of the other elders who would talk to me that weren't weird.
I dont wanna go to class tonight. There is no motivation to sit and pay attention for 3 hours. I still need to do my textbook work for the class and i need to write the first part of my paper. But wheres the motivation?? I did some of my ASL homework earlier. I dont get to feel proud of myself for doing 2 tasks that i had all week to do and waited to do 4 hours before i had to go to class. I also dont get to feel proud cause i have TWO classes to worry about. I have no excuse to not be getting my shit done on time. Hell i should be getting it done EARLY. its two classes.
I wanna take a nap for the next 20 minuets till i have to head to class but i cant. My eyes feel so heavy. I dont think ill eat dinner tonight. Dont deserve dinner until i do my essay.
Im really just a huge dumb ass piece of shit. Fucking hell.
I do nothing but complain about shit and get on people nerves.
Im to incompetent to wake up on time and to handle two fucking classes.
Its fucking sad.
Comments
Post a Comment