3:12pm December 28th 2018
I have to make this post fast Kristen and her sister are on their way.
I know i havent posted in two days now?
Dosent mean ive been okay.
Just means ive got nothing to say.
I havent been doing good at all actually.
Dan asked me what my new years resolution was and i told him to get back on a path to better mental health. Since i went off my meds and stopped therapy like a dumbass.
He acted like i didnt need to do that.
I knew from the start getting off my meds was a really bad idea but i couldnt let them know that.
Im just kinda a hugh dumb ass.
But i got really annoyed with Dan acting like i was doing better by just being at the garden and acting like eatting and getting sleep is gonna make me not want to kill myself.
The lack of understanding and acceptance really ticks me off.
I wanna take a semester off school to focus on work and getting healthy again but i dont think any of my family will hear it.
Just wanna not do college. I hated having 2 classes. I dont see how Kristen does that shit full time.
I dont know if i can juggle Classes, a job, and therapy and doctor appointments.
I just wanna not feel like mush.
I wanna feel like a living person again.
Ive gone to sleep at like 5pm the past two days and woken up at like 12.
Im tired.
Im not eatting as much anymore. Part of me dosent want to. I deserve to lose all the weight. The "progress". Sometimes i think i dont want to look healthy cause if i look healthy than people will think that i am. and im not healthy at all. I think im so far from it.
I know i havent posted in two days now?
Dosent mean ive been okay.
Just means ive got nothing to say.
I havent been doing good at all actually.
Dan asked me what my new years resolution was and i told him to get back on a path to better mental health. Since i went off my meds and stopped therapy like a dumbass.
He acted like i didnt need to do that.
I knew from the start getting off my meds was a really bad idea but i couldnt let them know that.
Im just kinda a hugh dumb ass.
But i got really annoyed with Dan acting like i was doing better by just being at the garden and acting like eatting and getting sleep is gonna make me not want to kill myself.
The lack of understanding and acceptance really ticks me off.
I wanna take a semester off school to focus on work and getting healthy again but i dont think any of my family will hear it.
Just wanna not do college. I hated having 2 classes. I dont see how Kristen does that shit full time.
I dont know if i can juggle Classes, a job, and therapy and doctor appointments.
I just wanna not feel like mush.
I wanna feel like a living person again.
Ive gone to sleep at like 5pm the past two days and woken up at like 12.
Im tired.
Im not eatting as much anymore. Part of me dosent want to. I deserve to lose all the weight. The "progress". Sometimes i think i dont want to look healthy cause if i look healthy than people will think that i am. and im not healthy at all. I think im so far from it.
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