7:34am December 23rd 2018
Im about to go off on a tangent involving adults that say "Just wait till youre an adult" to highschool students.
My dad used to give me all that "i dont get to sit in a desk all day." "i work 12 hours a day." bullshit and it pissed me off and it still does.
I dont think that boomers and Gen X understand what kind of stress Millennials and Gen Z kids put up with sometimes cause "their kids" .
In my senior year i only had a job at Fuddruckers for about 2 months cause of how SHIT their employment strategy was. They would use petty personal grudges against you and everything. If the managers didnt like you then you had no hope in them taking any request from you into consideration.
They would keep me working there until after 12am most nights despite me telling them that i was a highschool student and that i couldnt be working that late. They never changed the schedule. Hell once i told them that i needed a day off for a family reunion and they told me i had to find someone to cover my shift since they had already made the schedule for two weeks in advance. I found someone who would work that night for me as long as i came in an covered their morning shift. I agreed and just said that i needed to get off by a certain time. The managers agreed. It passed that time before they let me go and they kept giving me stuff to do while letting other people leave. I know it was just them being petty cause they hated i inconvenienced them by making them change the schedule they had already made. But thats how the people their were. It was a really stressful work environment and i think that i got along with like two people there.
I quit the job after only two months due to there unwillingness to work with me and my schedule.
But that was just my first job. I later got a Job at Dominos and dispite all the shitty aspects of that job one thing that they did well was respecting their young employees and letting you leave when you needed to.
But bad jobs weren't the only stressful thing in highschool. Wasn't the only thing that made the "you just sit at a desk all day" retort grind my 17 year old gears.
Lets talk about getting to the desk and then we can talk about the desk itself. Cause driving to school was a blessing and a curse.
For one yay i can drive myself to and from school. For two im late. all the time. almost every day.
I just couldnt seem to wake up on time for school. ever. So with that came the stress of my dad being mad at me ALL. THE. TIME. it sucked. it made me feel pathetic. dispite the fact that i was getting of of work at 1am and i still had a fuck ton of homework to do for my classes and i wasent able to sleep do to the fact that my brain just didnt want to i was barely sleeping and trying to drag my way through school.
While behind the desk was a new form of stress. there was first block. First semester i had my animation teacher and the next i had Mr Salter. Both understanding teachers who never gave me a hard time about it. Bless them.
My second block for first semester was fine. Nice math teacher. Helped me pass math with an A for the first time ever. Stopped class to talk about her drug addict exhusband and her two adopted sons. My math 031 teacher reminded me of her. Second semester i had the devil as a teacher. Dont even remember his name but he was one of the worst teacher i ever had. He would discourage the students that he didnt like. I was one of those students. He told me that he wanted me to fail. I think i passes by one point. Maybe he just did that cause he talked to my mom or something. I would skip that class any time i got the oportunity. Tayla was in that class with me. Witch was fine till it wasnet. I dont even know what was happening between us at the end of the year but i think that she tried to use me as a rebound after her and Mira broke up and it made things awkward. But some kids tried to ask us if we were dating and we said no and when they asked if we were lesbians i was gonna answer when the teahcer broke in and told us not to. Some ass hole names Austin made some comment about my Dyke hair cut. It irritated me but i didnt let it upset me all that badly. I never liked him.
What scared me was that i needed to pass that class. I HAD TO. or i was gonna fail the year. I couldnt fail the year. I couldnt be that bad of a disapointment.
So i made a plan. I was gonna kill myself if i didnt graduate.
It was... dramatic. But i graduated.
I know i went off on like eight diferent tangents and i think that if this was a blog for people other than myself and perhaps a therapist then i think that i would wrap each thing up nicely and stay on topic more. But its not for people outside me and a therapist. And so i dont have to be pretty here.
I can talk openly. I can talk grossly.
I can say that in 2017 i planned to die if i didnt graduate highschool and i DID graduate highschool and in another week ill see 2019.
The summary of all this is that highschool is hard. And hearing "well you dont work twelve hour days" really makes how hard it is worse cause if just makes you feel pathetic. So maybe dont say that...
My dad used to give me all that "i dont get to sit in a desk all day." "i work 12 hours a day." bullshit and it pissed me off and it still does.
I dont think that boomers and Gen X understand what kind of stress Millennials and Gen Z kids put up with sometimes cause "their kids" .
In my senior year i only had a job at Fuddruckers for about 2 months cause of how SHIT their employment strategy was. They would use petty personal grudges against you and everything. If the managers didnt like you then you had no hope in them taking any request from you into consideration.
They would keep me working there until after 12am most nights despite me telling them that i was a highschool student and that i couldnt be working that late. They never changed the schedule. Hell once i told them that i needed a day off for a family reunion and they told me i had to find someone to cover my shift since they had already made the schedule for two weeks in advance. I found someone who would work that night for me as long as i came in an covered their morning shift. I agreed and just said that i needed to get off by a certain time. The managers agreed. It passed that time before they let me go and they kept giving me stuff to do while letting other people leave. I know it was just them being petty cause they hated i inconvenienced them by making them change the schedule they had already made. But thats how the people their were. It was a really stressful work environment and i think that i got along with like two people there.
I quit the job after only two months due to there unwillingness to work with me and my schedule.
But that was just my first job. I later got a Job at Dominos and dispite all the shitty aspects of that job one thing that they did well was respecting their young employees and letting you leave when you needed to.
But bad jobs weren't the only stressful thing in highschool. Wasn't the only thing that made the "you just sit at a desk all day" retort grind my 17 year old gears.
Lets talk about getting to the desk and then we can talk about the desk itself. Cause driving to school was a blessing and a curse.
For one yay i can drive myself to and from school. For two im late. all the time. almost every day.
I just couldnt seem to wake up on time for school. ever. So with that came the stress of my dad being mad at me ALL. THE. TIME. it sucked. it made me feel pathetic. dispite the fact that i was getting of of work at 1am and i still had a fuck ton of homework to do for my classes and i wasent able to sleep do to the fact that my brain just didnt want to i was barely sleeping and trying to drag my way through school.
While behind the desk was a new form of stress. there was first block. First semester i had my animation teacher and the next i had Mr Salter. Both understanding teachers who never gave me a hard time about it. Bless them.
My second block for first semester was fine. Nice math teacher. Helped me pass math with an A for the first time ever. Stopped class to talk about her drug addict exhusband and her two adopted sons. My math 031 teacher reminded me of her. Second semester i had the devil as a teacher. Dont even remember his name but he was one of the worst teacher i ever had. He would discourage the students that he didnt like. I was one of those students. He told me that he wanted me to fail. I think i passes by one point. Maybe he just did that cause he talked to my mom or something. I would skip that class any time i got the oportunity. Tayla was in that class with me. Witch was fine till it wasnet. I dont even know what was happening between us at the end of the year but i think that she tried to use me as a rebound after her and Mira broke up and it made things awkward. But some kids tried to ask us if we were dating and we said no and when they asked if we were lesbians i was gonna answer when the teahcer broke in and told us not to. Some ass hole names Austin made some comment about my Dyke hair cut. It irritated me but i didnt let it upset me all that badly. I never liked him.
What scared me was that i needed to pass that class. I HAD TO. or i was gonna fail the year. I couldnt fail the year. I couldnt be that bad of a disapointment.
So i made a plan. I was gonna kill myself if i didnt graduate.
It was... dramatic. But i graduated.
I know i went off on like eight diferent tangents and i think that if this was a blog for people other than myself and perhaps a therapist then i think that i would wrap each thing up nicely and stay on topic more. But its not for people outside me and a therapist. And so i dont have to be pretty here.
I can talk openly. I can talk grossly.
I can say that in 2017 i planned to die if i didnt graduate highschool and i DID graduate highschool and in another week ill see 2019.
The summary of all this is that highschool is hard. And hearing "well you dont work twelve hour days" really makes how hard it is worse cause if just makes you feel pathetic. So maybe dont say that...
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